Before and After

 I might be best described as very Buddhist in my approach to life and living.  Fear and anger go pretty much hand-in-hand.  I almost didn't write this morning because I wasn't sure I had much to say today.  But really I divide my life in two ways.  There is a before me that I describe as being very messed up and a post me that I describe as a more calm me.  I have always had this fear of people in some form or another.  But the post me is a quiet calm kind of myself that has no fear of death or dying.  None.

I have feared life, but never death.  I know my smoking a pipe won't kill me.  I told Patty just yesterday that I think it's the small amount of nicotine I get from smoking a pipe that calms me.  And if I am not smoking a pipe I often imagine myself with a pipe in my mouth.  Nicotine won't kill me and the purity of pipe tobacco with no added chemicals seems to calm my spirit.  I have decided since moving here to Florida that I will work on eradicating all fear from my life.  

I think about those huge fearless football players Sunday night seeing one of their own facing death with a heart condition.  They can deal with broken bones, but they don't give much thought to their own mortality.  The heart attack of Hamlin made every football player on that field think about their own mortality.  And that brought many of them to tears.  One of their own was facing something that these young players don't think about.  

I think about it all the time, but it doesn't frighten me and never will.  Some say smoking a pipe might kill me, but I say it is just the opposite.  Smoking a pipe just might save my life.  I couldn't explain this to my cardiologist and most any doctor would frown on the use of tobacco.  But smoking a pipe, at least for me, just might prolong my life with a lowered BP.  I could never prove this scientifically, but smoking a pipe gives me nothing to fear.  In fact, it makes me appreciate life even more because I AM the most relaxed I have been my entire life since smoking a pipe regularly.  

I really have nothing to fear.  So, nothing really makes me angry.  But in a previous life I was a very angry person and anger turned inward is depression.  I hated my life and I hated this world.  But I no longer think this way.  I actually have nothing to fear, even death itself.  Today I am smoking my Savinelli Author pipe with Cornell and Diehl Morning Light.  And this morning I am as relaxed as I can possibly feel.  I thank you for your time and Peace to each one of you.

Dave