The Gray Divorce

I failed to mention in yesterday's post that the first golfer had just lost his wife.  Not a big omission, right? Retirees are divorcing at a rather alarming rate.  But why?  Well, first of all it's not just men divorcing their wives.  It is partly out of fear of spending the rest of one's life with the wrong person.  Men's income goes up about 10% after retiring and divorcing, while income for women decrease about 27%.  But a lot of it is at-the-end-of-life fears.  About one-third of all divorces in America involve couples over 50.  

I read about this the other day and the rate is alarming for those who study statistics.  I think part of it is that GenZ and Millennials are putting off marriages.  The marriage rate has slowed, as is putting off buying homes and raising families.  But still that doesn't explain why couples who have been married so long get divorced.  Maybe for men it is a delayed mid-life crisis, and for women, the reasons are varied.

As a side-note, is it "grey" or "gray?"  Here in the US, both are acceptable, but "grey" is mostly used in England and "gray" is used mostly in the US, although, while in England it is "grey" and here in the US it can be both, but "gray" is the more common spelling.  I would be as correct if I were to write that this post is about "grey divorce."  But here in the US, it might be best to write it as "gray divorce."  

Now that I've settled that, what are the reasons for it?  Believe it or not the most common cause is longevity.  People are simply living longer and couples want to pursue other interests.  Sure, children and grandchildren can keep the gray marriages together, but sometimes the health of the other partner can be a reason.  For some men, and women too, it could be the want of a younger love interest.  Some women don't want to be golf widows.  But this involves another interest.

One might want to come to Florida and buy a boat, when the other doesn't want a boat.  It's just not one thing.  Couples find they spend too much time together.  Some women don't want a lazy bum around the house.  And couples find out the things that brought them together are no longer reasons to stay together.  

It's just a phenomenon that is different tofay.  They retire and often move away from their roots.  And it could be that they are just tired of each other.  As we grow older we find out the reasons we married aren't reasons to stay together.  I say "we" because we're both in that age group.  One couole who were in their 90's went to a judge to ask for a divorce.  She asked why.  Their response was they had to wait for their kids to pass away.  

Some couples just tire of each other.  Or retirement can bring out the worst in a person.  As long as my wife allows me to smoke my pipe, I'm a pretty happy camper.  I can relax when she doesn't need me to do something, and as I said in yesterday's post I'm happy to just make the chili.  If there's a secret to longevity in a marriage it helps to have a short memory.

I want to close by saying that Jimmy Buffett passed away last evening at the age of 76.  He will be missed by his Parotheads and others.  i am smoking my Pierre Lamy pipe this morning with some Captain Black in honor of Jimmy Buffett.  Tropical Export might be more fitting, but I need to order some.  Thank you for your time and Peace to each one of you.

Dave