Heavy Lifting

 Robert DeNiro says he doesn't do heavy lifting with his newborn daughter.  A lot of dads still think caring for children is the work for moms.  After leaving ministry I worked a lot of evenings.  And while I seem to be tooting my horn, so to speak, my kids got the best of both worlds.  Even stay at home dads these days don't do their share.  But maybe aa I look back on it, I could have done things differently.  I told my wife the other morning that the two of us are just used to each other.

We considered maintaining a home and child care as team work.  And for us it just worked.  I understand the age of Robert DeNiro and the money he has to pay for others to do the heavy lifting of child care.  But there is no substitute for a dad who helps to raise his children.  Maybe that is the problem in today's world as kids get older.  Dads just don't take an interest in raising children.  Nothing is tougher in this world than being a parent.

And I believe parenting now is tougher than it was back in the day.  No parent should ever believe someone else can replace them when it comes to raising children.  Maybe 82 year old men just shouldn't be a parent or try to be.  DeNiro isn't going to be around much longer.  I don't care how long he lives.  It won't be long enough.  He needed to give some thought about parenting at his age before he decided to have a kid.  

Love is enjoyable until it becomes two sharing a household.  Then the work begins.  But he can afford the love of a younger woman and pay for everything else including raising a child.  But there is no substitute for a parent.  I don't care who you are.  Especially when it comes to the first years of a child's life.  Those early years are the most important.  This is when dads especially need to do their share of the heavy lifting.  And it seems this is the time when dads run from their responsibilities.  

I can't say I always liked DeNiro as a person.  He was a great actor.  But it seems that he has given up his golden years to raising a daughter.  He's still her father no matter what.  Every dad is always a dad.  But as the children grow older and become an adult the presence of a dad in their early years shape their lives later in life.  Dads just need to be there and dads need to do their share.  He won't be able to relax in his later years although it seems he wants to.  He brought a child into this world.

This might seem like my own knee-jerk reaction to a single article I read and maybe it's not as dire as I make it out to be.  But every child needs a dad.  It just seems that men are into making babies and abandoning them when they need a dad the most.  So, I salute the dads who do their share of the heavy lifting.  Money or nannies are never a substitute for a dad that does his share.  

I feel as though I've earned the right to relax with a pipe these days.  I certainly don't plan on having more children and still am not sure we'll be grandparents.  I feel both my wife and I did the best we could.  Today it is my Stanwell Natural pipe with some Rum and Maple pipe tobacco after my first bowl of Epiphany.  I don't smoke this pipe all that often and when choosing a pipe for a day, this pipe isn't chosen much.  I bought this pipe mail-order right after moving to NY.  It's one of my cheapest pipes, but far from the worst.  It's actually a pretty nice little pipe.  The natural finish has darkened nicely.  I thank you for your time and Peace to each one of you.

Dave