As Close as It Gets

 


According to the historians of Facebook, it has been twelve years since my heart attack.  I'm a couple of days late.  But I got to thinking about those dozen years and how close to death I came then.  All I really remember is the pain.  And the fact I could hardly breathe.  I was told later that in another five minutes I wouldn't be here.  Same is true of my appendicitis.  They said I had about five minutes then too.  Maybe five minutes is all they give anyone, but for me it happened twice.

I say twice is enough.  Both times the right surgeons just happened to be there.  But really, it's by Providence I'm even here.  This old body can't take any more close brushes with death.  But looking over the past 72 years of my life, I've had more brushes with death, but at those times, I didn't think anything of it.  Parts were just being a kid and parts were just being lucky.  But I know a lot of people born in 1951 didn't make it this far with some never making it out of childhood.  

I've seen and experienced a lot in my 72 years of life, but some have had more exciting and challenging lives, but I'm thinking there is a Divine reason for me to be living today.  Part is simply sheer will.  Part is trusting those involved with my care.  Part is support of family.  But perhaps most importantly, it just wasn't my time.  We took a lot of family photos that Christmas and although I lost some 20 pounds, I look sickly.  I still wasn't feeling 100% that Christmas having just come from the hospital.

But for the most part I've managed my weight.  Although it took Covid to lower my weight and kept it steady.  I can't say what my best Christmas has been, but the Christmas of 2011 had to be the best one.  I was alive to spend that Christmas with family.  My family might remember that Christmas better than I do, because in all honesty all I remember about that Christmas are from photos and the fact the kids shoveled the driveway for me that year.  

But just being alive for Christmas was what really mattered.  I was still here to enjoy it with family.  I never really asked why it happened or questioned my reason for being here.  I just knew it wasn't my time.  I just wasn't going to let death win.  I still have a Divine purpose for being here and why I say I'm a Spiritual person.  I won't say that two brushes with death in four years are accredited to my Spirituality, but they did add another layer each to my Spirituality which was already present.

Since my appendicitis, I think I can say that one more serious event might be it, but not yet.  Maybe like Mark Twain I could say my reason to live is to smoke a pipe.  But I won't go that far.  I enjoy my pipes, but they aren't the reason I live.  Today my pipe is my Peterson Churchwarden with my Christmas Spice tobacco, and I'm just happy to be able to enjoy smoking my pipes and do what I do.  I'm just happy to be alive.  If you're reading this I thank you for being a part of my life.  Thank you for your time and Peace to each one of you.

Dave

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