Problem Solved

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 There is a Twilight Zone episode when a man acquires a pocket watch that stops time except for the owner of the watch.  I won't go into detail about the episode, but this is how Santa does it.  He is able to stop time.  And we don't know it because we are totally unaware that he does this.  But how do I know this?  Logic.  It's the only way, plus my wife reminded me of the movie in which Santa does this.  Some say he stops time until all the presents are delivered.  Or time travels with him.

So, Santa is never seen delivering presents.  His movements are far too fast for those of us who are controlled by time.  So, there you go.  Santa controls time.  It's in a movie.  And that settles it.  According to my wife.  Some might have other theories, but Santa being able to stop time is by far the best theory, because there was a Twilight Zone episode about a pocket watch that did this very thing.  

I guess another logistic is how can Santa get all those gifts in his bag?  Santa solved that problem too.  In Ernest Saves Christmas, Santa has a magic sack that all he has to do is reach into it and the presents just appear.  Thank God that movie magic solved that problem!  What will they think of next?  Movie magic, books, stories, and even word of mouth has solved all the problems related to Santa.  There isn't one problem about Santa that hasn't been solved.  

Before people just assumed and they just knew Santa did stuff.  No one thought to solve all the problems with Santa.  But I'm sure the kids had a lot to do with posing the problems and parents always had to have a clever answer.  But it seems Hollywood has solved most every problem.  Santa is a time traveler.  This is why Santa can take time to eat cookies and drink milk.  In fact, Santa has all the time in the world. 

There might be some minor issues about Santa that have yet to be solved, but really, whatever glitches Santa has are just minor ones.  Parents are smart enough to be able to explain most anything about Santa.  I used to wonder whether Santa was a Christian and how he was saved.  Stupid question, since he is a Saint. The fact is that one just can't think too logically about Santa.  Santa throws all logic out the window.   Which is why most kids figure it out on their own.  Santa isn't logical.

But that is why Christmas is magical and full of miracles.  Most anyone believes anything is possible at Christmas.  But then what if doesn't happen? Christmas is then every day when we don't stop believing.  Today, I am smoking my Sherlock Holmes pipe with some Tropical Export.  Deductive reasoning seems to be needed at Christmas.  Thank you for your time and Peace to each one of you.

Dave

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