What IS Love?

 Ii's ten days to Valentine's Day and I'm not sure I can spend that much time writung about the subject of love.  I am not sure I can answer this questiin, as poets, philosophers and mote recently movie-makers have tried, only with a modicum of success.  I have to admit that spending the next ten days writung about Valentine's Day and the topic of "love," might be a stretch.  I could write about Christmas all through December and even before.  But to spend all this time on Valentine's Day might be a bit much.  But we'll see how I do.

While women are more sociable, older men especially, think of their wives as their best friends.  Can lovers just become friends or can friends become lovers?  It works both ways, but more often friendships evolve while lovers tend to break up and can't be just friends.  I'm not 100% sure about my wife and I, but I would say we're best friends, more than lovers.  But this is how most marriages evolve.  To define love is difficult at best. Feelings aren't constant, but our values don't really change.  

How do we value that other person?  And that is something only the two people know.  If a friendship is valued it will last.  And if it isn't, one or the other will simply move on.  Love stands the test of time.  Some might wonder how God feels about sex.  Is monogamy the ONLY answer?  My wife might care, but as far as God is concerned, I could say it just depends.  I'm not sure monogamy is the answer.  And I'm not staying polygamy is the answer.  Some religions don't allow for leaders to marry, but this has pitfalls as well. Most can't accept polygamy.  

I understood  back in the day with what was then situational ethics where one says that it all depends.  I'm not sure what I think matters much to God.  I just say that what matters is whether one can live with oneself.  And how much you can live with the judgments of others.  Most polygamist simply don't care.  Because I say God doesn't judge, I'm not sure I do either.  I say in most cases, it just depends.  I've been told I am very Libertine in my thinking.  And I probably am.

I believe in monogamous love.  But that works both ways.  I could conclude with what a grandfather told his grandson about women.  He said to avoid them, because they're just too much trouble.  Would I tell my son's this?  I don't believe so.  Socrates said it best when he said choosing the right woman to marry is happiness.  Choosing the wrong one is misery.   There are endless lists of names who have something to say about love.  There is true love and false love and only time knows the difference.  A woman always seems to know.  Most men are clueless, which may be why men cheat more than women, but this is changing.  Maybe that grandfather wasn't so wrong after all!

It's just that I could spend eternity writing about what poets and philosophers have said about the subject of love.   After nearly fifty years of marriage to the same woman I could say that love simply is the best friendship.  It evolves over time.  Some people simply aren't worth your time and there are at least a few to whom you can't devote enough time.

This is the journey of life.  When you find love you'll just know.  But if you're a guy, the odds are she'll know before you do.  Love, like the journey of life, is full of surprises, both more often good, but sometimes, not so good.  I'm giving some love to my Peterson System pipe today with some London Squite English and I thank you for your time.  Peace to each one of you.

Dave