A Burn-out?

 I'm here sitting on the deck of our NY home by myself dogging light rain drops that occasionally fall from the skies above.  Burn-out's used to be those pot-heads who burned out of life.  They were the hippies attached to their own culture.  But in today's world people burn-out of jobs and can become burnt-out by people.  Some are homeless, some in psyche wards, and some have perished.  Others have just been given up by friends and family.  I am none of these, but in my own way I got burned out in my youth by people.  Everyone, even still, is a stranger to me, except for the few, but I haven't lost my sense of humor or a desire to be around others.  

But I've been essentially a burn-out before it was a thing.  Now people burn-out on jobs.  Or they burn out on families.  Some choose an alternate lifestyle just to get away.  In today's world it's cool to live away from people and live off the grid, so to speak.  Many have burned out simply preferring to be left alone.  I've never been in that camp rather choosing reclusiveness whenever I could and still can.  I prefer to be left alone.  

But I also know I just can't go off the deep-end and escape.  And I'm of no value being left institutionalized or living on the street.  I know this about myself.  And just on the surface, I don't seem like a typical burn-out.  But in a way, I am.  And if one were to ask why, I could blame many factors that contributed to it, but I don't.  I used to blame myself, but I don't do this either.  In fact, I blame no one--not even myself.  And I have never blamed God or just fate.  

I accept it for what it is.  And that is my point.  It is what it is and maybe I am waitung for a kind of renewal.  Why?  I keep thinking there is STILL more for me to do and I'm waiting to do it, but that depends on my Spirit Guides.  I rely on them.  But I'm not saying I want everyone to be as I am.  No.  In fact, I want no one to be as I am.  I can't teach this and I can't ask for followers.  I am on my own singular path as I feel I have been all my life.  

This is neither good or bad.  I don't place a monetary value on it.  I'll do what my Spirit Guides want me to do.  I'm not worried about it.  They won't abandon me.  But in some ways I feel as though they want me to recharge.  This is my thinking as I have been here in NY for the past month, and then slowly I'll get it back.

Meanwhile, I'll smoke my pipe and work on the things I feel they want me to work on.  This morning it is my Dunhill pipe with my Captain Black Original while drinking Ethiopian Guji coffee.  Thank you for your time and Peace to each one of you.

Dave

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