After Fifty Years

 I can’t replace my wife after fifty years of marriage.  I worry about her but only to a degree.  Life would go on.  My wife and I had this conversation the other night and both of us decided we can’t replace each other.  But you know, it’s okay.  I don’t lie awake at night worrying about her.  I’m thankful every morning we both wake up together.  

Fifty years is a long time with one person.  I’ve thought about a life without her, but I don’t give it much thought.  One might think I’m the one without much time left, but I won’t go into that.  I haven’t given much thought to the end of my life.  I’ve given more thought to life without her.  What will I do if anything happens to her?  I’m not sure but she says I’ll survive.  We’ve talked about it because at our age we have to give it some thought.

We’ve talked about living arrangements and brought our kids into the discussion.  We have options.  We still have our house in NY if necessary.  But it’s so hard for either of us to think about life without the other.  We get brochures in the mail about end of life arrangements but we ignore them.  We are getting our finances in order.  And we both have living wills.  Neither one of us wants to be kept artificially alive.  

I might get the little Miata as my choice for a car.  But that is so impractical for the two of us.  I’d like to stay in Cape Coral if possible.  But life without her is so hard to imagine.  I’ve given it some thought just because at our age we both have to think about life without the other.  After fifty years it is so hard to do.  

But we are giving it some thought.  A lot depends on the kids.  Especially our oldest son.  Patty doesn’t want to own and if anything happens to her I won’t either.  But at least we are thinking about it maybe now more than either of us have.  She pretty much handles our lives.  There is a lot I would have to manage on my own.  There just is no way either of us would remarry.  I know I wouldn’t after fifty years with just one person.  

I give it thought as I smoke my Nording Number 3 pipe this morning with some of my Old Professor pipe tobacco.  My coffee this morning is Blue Bottle.  Thank you for your time and Peace to each one of you.

Dave