Reflections of an Old Man

 Okay, I don’t think of myself as old, but I do think of myself as living on borrowed time.  My heart attack was the ‘widow-maker” variety and I nearly died from a ruptured appendix.  Maybe I have beaten death.  But these experiences taught me a lot about life and living.  For all practical purposes I should be dead.

But I am very much alive and well, although my heart functions at about 50% and my inside still doesn’t function very well.  But I am alive.  I’ve learned a lot about life by facing death.  But I’ve learned death is really nothing to fear.  I fear pain more than I fear death, but the fact is I have no real pain.  

It’s just that I am not afraid of dying.  Life has enough fears as it is.  It’s just that having no fear of dying means I have no real fears.  I don’t believe I am invincible so I fear poisonous snakes and bears.  I might be fearless, but I’m not stupid.  There are a lot of things in life to fear.  It’s just that death should not be one of those things to fear.  

We can fear being alone if a significant other should be taken from us.  That might be my greatest fear.  I’ve told my wife I’m not sure anyone can replace her and that no one will want to.  But I’m not there.  She is very much alive and I’m thankful when I wake next to her in the morning.  But if I think about what my brushes with death have taught me about all I can say is that they taught me to live and embrace life fully without being foolish.

I’ve watched vids about how people have met their demise and all I can say is that people die foolishly and needlessly.  Some might say smoking a pipe is a health risk, but maybe I’m foolish when I say not smoking my pipe is the greater health risk for me.  But this is why I am not an evangelist for smoking a pipe.  While it might be true for me it might not be true for others.  My pipe today is my Gettysburg pipe and my tobacco is Autumn Evening.  My coffee this morning is Blue Bottle.  Thank you for your time and Peace to each one of you.

Dave